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Authors Reading gave Blessings and Curses a review. The reviewer focuses on an aspect of the story that, given the current atmosphere of this country, seems missing from our society. 

“Blessings and Curses,” is a powerful story about the compassion, kindness, and solace rendered by prison ministries. The story is fictional, but it reminds us that the Leon’s in this world teach us many lessons of compassion and how the work of these ministries can sometimes soften the hearts of the most hardened criminals whose lives have been broken by experiences unimaginable to us.”

It’s amazing how just a little compassion, understanding and a smile can transform some people. In my novel, Olivia Douglass was asked to pray with a convict on death row. After her first day of humiliation from this man, she didn’t want to return. But she did return. She saw that all he wanted was for someone to know he existed and even to love him. He was also very afraid that he would die alone, a fear that many of us have.

When I think about the number of people who don’t receive love and compassion, the thought frightens me. There are people throughout this society who have never had a parent to say, “I love you.” They can be teachers, doctors, lawyers, department heads, nurses, business owners, and the list goes on. Sometimes these people get the love they need from other sources, such as a mate, a job or career, food, alcohol. Their satisfaction comes from the substitute and this covers the fact that love is missing. Sometimes parents don’t say it, but they do things to imply love. But children and teens need to know they are loved by their parents through words, as well. 

Those teens who were responsible for shooting their classmates, and people who take their lives and the lives of others, are all horrible things. Aren’t they missing love in their lives? A classmate or some classmates have harmed a student emotionally, damaged their ego, the center of them, and they want to pay it back by taking a life or lives. Why does it get that far, where a student wants to inflict harm on another? Why can’t we teach children to be kind and compassionate and say something nice or do something nice to someone they see has been bullied. Would that be so bad?  Why don’t we recognize it when our sons and daughters are being bullied and stop it by going to a school authority to seek help? What if we stopped these teens from being bullied by their classmates and directed both students to professional help? Isn’t it possible that the bullying could stop? Couldn’t we see a change in the student’s behavior, action and thoughts that he/she was having trouble? Why do we let the obvious pass us?

Can’t we be more observant and offer our help when we see people– your neighbor, a friend, someone in your organization– in need? Can’t we see a change in behavior with our friends and neighbors and let them know we care by offering help? Some one who is kind and gentle and changes to violent speech could be having a problem. Couldn’t we take just a few minutes to ask what’s happening? But we do have to be careful. Some situations can be dangerous and we have to know how to direct them to professionals. We pass by people who need us every day, but we never stop to offer help to them. Then we can’t expect people to stop and help us when we need it. 

See the review at:  https://www.authorsreading.com/blessings-and-curses_311.htm

Make a comment, and write a review.

Blessings and Curses       www.amazon.com/Blessings-curses-Judy-Kelly/

We all Love a Good Story, don’t we? We have plenty of stories in our families that we don’t think of as stories, but they are. They are untold because they’re embarrassing things that have happened to our relatives or us. The shame keeps family members from exposing those stories. But they are stories and they are examples of life and what happens to people. For example, there is the story about a lie or a secret that a family member gives in answer to a serious question, such as why does grandpa wear women’s clothes. Sometimes the family member is so embarrassed that they don’t try to explain it. They keep it a secret. The question is: does that lie or secret affect only the person making up the lie or keeping the secret? Or does that lie or secret affect the entire family? For example, if I ask my mother why she didn’t know her father very well, and she said it was because he was always being called to serve this country when in reality he was in jail because he was a pedophile, what affect would that have on me? Was my mother afraid that I would somehow “catch” this disease and become a pedophile, too? How would I be affected by that lie? Would the effect be the embarrassment or shame of the fact that the father was a pedophile?  What would withholding this information do to improve the family? What would telling everyone do to improve the family?

If you found something like that in your family, what would you do? If you find out that a grandparent or parent killed someone, just murdered them right out, how would that change your life? Would you believe that you were meant to kill someone? What kind of person would you be after finding out that your grandparent or parent actually took someone’s life? Would you suddenly understand why you didn’t like people? Or had difficulty around people? Would you be unchanged and live your life the way you are?

In Blessings and Curses, Olivia Douglass finds out something about herself and the effect of that secret causes Olivia to hold her own secret that she struggles with all her life. What would have happened if Olivia had known about what happened? People have choices. They can either accept something or change it. We find out things about us that we may not want to know, but does that information have to cause a change? Some of these facts we find out are the things that make us human. Some of these things we can use to make us stronger. Some of these things we find out can weaken us. How would you handle Olivia’s secret?

Blessings and Curses can be found at:

www.blackrosewriting.com

www.amazon.com

www.barnesandnoble.com

Let me know what you would do.

I hate to be political, especially on my blog, but we all Love a Good Story, and a Good Story is in the making. Our teens are making history. But they are doing what we should have done for them. They are tired and fed up and I don’t blame them. Our young people should not have to go through the loss of their friends, and they should not be put in a position where they have to take up a fight that we, the adults and parents, should have done for them. We, parents, adults and teachers, must begin to give our teens the care  they deserve. Some people say, “Kids bounce back.” What does this mean, anyway? Our children and teens are not basketballs or volleyballs bouncing around. People don’t bounce back. Look at yourselves, look at the people around you who are still hurting from some past tragedy. Trauma is difficult for us all, and harder for others who have experienced other traumas as well. There is no such thing as “bouncing back.” Our children and teens are emotionally harmed by these incidents just like anyone else. We all take these experiences with us as we grow and these recent experiences will shape and form them, just as they have shaped and formed us. Again, look at yourselves and the people around you who don’t get along with others, those who always have negative thoughts and ideas, those who are paranoid and think that people are actually trying to bring harm to them specifically. Parents, we have to face this. We have already turned a blind eye to violence in schools; we can’t ignore the effect these school shootings have on our children and teens.

Parents, I ask you to think back about the time when you were in high school. The school was a place of safety for you, the way it should be for our children today. You were protected in that environment, cradled and cuddled by your teachers, principles, and friends. Nothing could bother you at your school. You found out that you weren’t always loved by some friends, but you found other friends who valued you. Your friends became your family. Your friends and you were going through similar “high school problems,” and you worried about them as you worried about yourself. So, it would have been very difficult to see one of them shot and die in front of you.

We must support these brave soldiers who find it in their loving hearts to want to stop this madness and do something about the mass shootings in their school and those schools across the nation. Our young people are fed up and tired of this kind of violence, and rightly so. I would like to see these amazing people be teens again. They should be crying because someone said something about them; upset because they weren’t invited to a particular party; upset because they like a boy or girl, but found out that the boy or girl likes someone else; upset about the fact that they earned a “B” on a test and you, parents, will be mad with them; and going crazy because they waited until the very last-minute to complete an important assignment. High school is the time that students practice those values, manners, and make choices based on what you’ve taught them. They should be upset over bad choices that they’ve made and afraid to tell you. These “high school problems” are what they should be going through. No teen should have to march for gun control in schools.

I am horrified at the reception that these brave souls have received. It is difficult to believe and accept that after these young people poured out their hearts to us, asked for help they need — gun control — that they would have the door slammed in their faces. What kind of people would do such a thing? But our young people must persevere. I would strongly suggest that they not give up. I know from the people around me that they have much more support than they think. Not all of us who support these teens marched. But, we need, not just gun control laws, we need other things as well. We need the schools to hire more therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists. Teachers know when something is not right with a student. They know when students are having trouble. Students sometimes act out. The acting out is a way of getting someone’s attention. Teachers must begin to report those students who begin to behave differently from their usual behavior. They usually perseverate on an unfortunate incident and can’t seem to talk about anything else. They write about it in their assignments and papers. They may seem anxious, frustrated and angry. These students should be reported to a therapist or “counselor” who is a therapist with background in psychology and/or psychiatry. Students need ongoing Group Therapy. Presently, if it’s in schools, it’s only for a day or two after the shootings. Does this make sense to you? Again, think about yourself. Remember, there is no such thing as “bouncing back. ” It takes many sessions before anyone can put trauma behind them or learn how to use it to improve their life or the lives of others. An hour or two does nothing to help. Parents you must push for more therapists/pshcyologists/psychiatrists in your schools. Continue reading Love A good Story

Just about everyone has experienced a hardship. If  a person grew up in this country before these modern times, they surely experienced several hardships. Some hardships are short and take effort to endure, but they end, and a person comes out of it all right. Then, others are more complex and take more emotional time before healing. Often, people call a hardship a tragedy. A person can relate something sad or an awful event, and get a response like: “That’s too bad. That’s a real tragedy.” Or someone may say, “Such a tragedy.” We’ve made these comments just because we thought that the situation was bad. After all, it had to do with someone falling ill, getting hurt. dying, loosing their home or spouse and loosing a job. But, what is a tragedy? Is it just anything “bad?”

The Greeks used drama, specifically, tragedy as a way of looking at the world they live in. The main character would commit a terrible crime in the area of love, loss, pride, abuse of power and relationships between men and gods.  Aristotle thought that a tragedy cleansed the heart. He thought that the heart would be cleansed through pity and terror, and that one would purge the petty concerns and worries through an awareness of suffering.

When I was a high school teacher, many of my students were from other countries. Their parents, through their own struggles, managed to get these students  here to the U.S. in order for them to have opportunities that they wouldn’t get in their own country. After they were here a while and “settled in,” my students needed their parents. The parents didn’t learn English or the culture. Many of my students felt like they were just dropped here without a lifeguard, or parents. The students learned English and the culture, slowly. It’s hard to have to go to school in one world and go home to another in the same country. That frustrated and angered many of my students. They wanted to talk to their parents about what they were going through at school, how they were questioned about their country, the differences in the way things are done in this country, the different kinds of food. But the parents were struggling with their job search, the low pay, the need to work many hours to pay the rent, put food on the table, clothe their children, and please don’t let anyone come down with an illness or get injured on the job. Some of my students had parents who just left; they couldn’t deal with the “too much.” Some parents became seriously ill and had to depend on the children to go to the doctor, and give them medication. So, now how is this an opportunity? some students asked.

As a teacher, I struggled to get my students to see that coming to this country  was an opportunity for them and they should try to take advantage of it. On the other hand, they told me that it was extremely difficult. Given their background, they couldn’t compete. They declared themselves void of skill or knowledge and didn’t see a way to improve their standing. Many of their comments broke my heart. Many of them were skilled and would make excellent citizens in this country. But, given their circumstances, or their “tragedies,” more students gave up then  those who went on.

My newest novel, Blessings and Curses, is about how a person can come from a horrific background , “a real tragedy,” but find the need  and a way to forge ahead anyway and become the person he or she is meant to be.

Olivia Douglas is undecided about becoming a priest even after she has completed seminary. She is adopted and for most of her life, she has had a curse over her that she has held secret. In order to help her find out whether or not she is led to the priesthood, her parish priest gives her an assignment – to pray with in inmate on death row. The relationship with the inmate makes her curious about her own life before she was adopted. Before he is executed, the inmate asks for Olivia’s help and in honoring his personal request, she discovers something in her past that threatens to uproot her ordinary life with her adopted family and causes her to desperately struggle to hold on to her persona and position.

Order Blessings and Curses from www.blackrosewriting.com today and receive a discount for  your advance copy. Then tell me about your tragedy or hardship.

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I don’t understand why so many young adults don’t see the value of reading. I don’t know what I would do if books didn’t exist. I’m always looking up information, learning about different cultures and reading good stories. My college students have told me that reading stories of the past in high school didn’t make much sense to them. I think it would if we, the teachers, would relate these stories to the present. If we could help students see that the concepts are the same then, I think they would understand these stories better.

Last spring, I asked my reading class to, in anyway they could, show the value of reading.  They had to present their work to the class. This video is what one student presented. Watch it and see for yourself. I was greatly impressed.

The Importance of Reading

A Good Parent  –  Martin Milner

            Several people have asked me about the minor characters in That Ever Died So Young. I like Martin Milner, Kathryn’s father. It makes me question what it takes to be a parent. What are the requirements for parenthood? A man and a woman marry. They move into a townhouse they can barely afford. They lead thrifty lives so that they can try and save something. One may take on more responsibility at work for more money, or even take on another job. They get ahead and financially, they find a little relief. While they continue to try and build a life and marriage, they discover that one of them has a serious medical problem.

Martin Milner never expected his wife to have cancer. He and his wife were busy trying to eke out an acceptable life when she was diagnosed. Martin knew nothing about cancer or what caused it or how to cure it. He expected a long life with the woman he loved. He and his wife had planned to move to a larger single family home, have four or five children, where they would enjoy family picnics, surprise birthday parties and “stay up late” Christmas parties. Martin and his wife thought the biggest problem they would have was not being able to save enough money for college for each of their children. Martin did not expect that his beloved wife would die before their first child had finished elementary school, and before he had a chance to understand cancer and certainly not before he had time to plan on a life without her. He had not planned on the life he was forced into, the life he was forced to accept.

Martin had a hard time at first. He had loved his wife so much, he wasn’t able to manage without her. The world didn’t seem right to him anymore. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to go on. He didn’t care about his life. But most importantly, he forgot he was a parent. He forgot that his daughter was hurting also. His little girl who loved her father, who needed him to help her through the hard time she was having was also hurting. She missed her mother. When Martin finally realized his little girl needed him, he cleaned himself up and became a father to his daughter. He drew close to his daughter, protected her, cared for her, and loved her dearly.

So a parent is someone who makes mistakes, but corrects them. A parent is someone who takes care of those who need them – the children. Martin Milner was a parent to his daughter, Kathryn.

I awoke this morning with something or rather someone on my mind and heart – my neighbor. She is a tiny lady in her eighties attends yoga classes regularly, and enjoys working in her yard. Her husband died about three years ago and left her with a burden she is not able to manage at her stage in life. In their backyard and very close to the fence that separates our yards, her husband planted bamboo. So I think I can end this post now, since you already know the problem.

For years I was burdened with the bamboo and after a while, he too, saw it a problem. But nothing was done about it. Later, she tried and continues to try  to control it by spraying it with weed killer. That seemed to have worked for a while. At least the bamboo looked like it was dying; many of the stalks turned brown and the large group that was, was now beginning to thin out. But in my glee, I tried hard not to jump up and down, celebrate the death of the bamboo. Isn’t this crazy? Maybe I thought that if that bamboo was really leaving,  it should have been gone by now.

This summer, I was gone for a while and when I returned, the bamboo seems to have taken over that entire side of our yards. I have a pond that I want to fill in and have plans to extend my garden. The bamboo will cover my plants and keep them from growing.  Shouldn’t I be allowed to have a garden in my own yard if I want to? I’m having a very hard time asking an eighty-year old lady to cut down all of her bamboo. As I look out my window now, onto the spot in my yard, the brown dying looking stalks are all green and even very pretty, I hate to say. What happened? Why won’t that just go away?

I looked up how to remove bamboo. It is possible, but it takes dedication and time, and of course, money. You have to start with the roots and get them all out. About three years ago, I got most of the roots out of my yard, and when I pulled up many of those tough (by the way) roots, they went under the fence to my neighbor’s yard. I don’t believe that she ever got the roots up out of her yard. By that time, her husband was very ill and she was attentive to him.  Now she is haunted by that bamboo. I’m sure it was a surprise to her too, to see the growth of that bamboo after she has spent many summers spraying it with weed killer. What I want to do is ask her to join me in paying a neighbor who will spend the time and energy digging up the roots and finally getting rid of the all, every inch, every everything of that bamboo.

Robert Frost, in his poem, “Mending Walls,” said “Good fences make good neighbors.” She is a good neighbor and I would like to keep it so by solidifying that fence that could separate us.

Is it me, or did we just have an “uneventful blizzard” where we didn’t have extensive power outages, down trees or other devastation? So now we can use the time to do things with our family members? We can use the time to slow down, and reflect on our needs, to not worry about the office needs or how we’re losing money. We can enjoy the day, the snow and each other. We can also use it to check on our neighbors, those elderly or disabled who live alone or can’t get out.

Yesterday’s evening news showed a good example of ways we can help each other. There is a group of people who are volunteering their time to dig others out. If you need help you contact the organization (it seemed to be newly forming), put in your request and identify your location and someone or a group will contact you and come out to your house and shovel your snow. How nice is this? Then right behind it the news lady showed us a picture of teenagers going around helping people shovel their snow. She said it was a way for them to make money. Why must we turn everything into some money-making venture? Why don’t we teach our children to do good deeds because it is a show of love, and the right thing to do? Do we want to teach our children to do things for money to buy a new video game? Or to do things out of love and because helping our “fellow-man” is simply the right thing to do?

Since we don’t have to worry about power outages, removing trees from our living rooms, or moving the elderly and ill out of cold places to warm places, let’s use this time to do at least one thing good for someone else. I implore everyone now, to call a neighbor, friend, family member and ask if they need anything. When you are offered money, don’t take it. Donate it to a homeless fund or cancer fund or a fund of your choice. Then spend the rest of the day (and more than likely tomorrow) with your family just talking and maybe even finding out things you didn’t know about your children.