Love a Good Story

Posted on by judycar

Love a Good Story

I just Love a Good Story. Don’t you just Love a Good Story? Well, here is another Good Story.

I cleaned out a filing cabinet I have in my basement. I try not to hold on to things I don’t need, but before I got rid of the cabinet, I thought I would go through it. Guess what I found? I found a copy of my dissertation!! Georgia State, where I attended, has a copy of my dissertation in their library. I saw it after I was conferred and when I had received a notice stating that the dissertation was in the library collection. I went to see it. I just had to.

The librarian pointed to the section in the library where the dissertations were shelved by year. I took a minute to read some names of the others from previous years who had dissertations on the shelves. Then, I came to my name. Gently, I pulled the book out off the shelf, and held it in my hands. It was beautifully bound, the normal way dissertations are bound, as a book and hard cover, so I thought. I opened it to the title page printed with the title and my name under it. The title: Decentralization and Centralization: Components for Effectiveness and Efficiency as Related to School Problems. This document was the first time I had ever seen my name in print and associated with professional writing. I turned to the Table of Contents and saw an overview of the work I’d done to complete the dissertation. I scanned through and saw all the charts, tables, and other examples I included. I had forty-two sources and citations and an Appendix page where I included a survey.

In the back of my personal copy, I had many pages of notes from the research that were included in the paper. How about that title? Decentralization and Centralization were big ideas and problems during that time. We won’t talk about the “time.”

For someone with low self-esteem, I didn’t think I would go any further than the undergraduate program. Wasn’t that enough? I didn’t believe I would be accepted in the undergrad program much less actually earn the degree. But I earned a BS Degree. Now what? Could I actually earn an MS degree? I was accepted into the Masters Program and earned a degree. Should I dare go any further? Do I want to push it further? I could ruin things for myself, then where would I be. But I did. I pushed it; I took that one last step and even though I had to write a dissertation; I did it and earned my degree. I didn’t think about it at the time, but the topic I’d chosen was an ambitious one. I didn’t give up. Instead, I challenged myself.

After graduation, I took some time by myself to ponder what I had done. First, I read the paper again. I realized I had been holding myself back, thinking I couldn’t do something that I could do with dedication and effort. The moral of the story? Don’t limit yourself. Believe in yourself and know you can, especially if your heart is pushing you and telling you to go for it. Then go as far as you can; until you absolutely cannot see yourself doing anything more.

In my newest novel, coming out in a few months, my main character, Esther, finds herself alone after her husband and invalid son were killed in a gas explosion and fire at their personalized card shop, “All Sorts of Cards,” in Ohio where they lived. She was lost and couldn’t go on without her husband. What was she to do? What was her purpose? How could she move on after her loving husband showed her how to run a business and how to see her value and purpose in life? Moving ahead was difficult for Esther without her husband who was always by her side, showing her, explaining and believing in her. Who else would be that kind and patient? After thinking about it, Esther decided and planned it out for herself. However, Esther’s decision was extreme, and once she made it, there was no turning back for her.

But, of course there is more than just believing in yourself. There is an enormous amount of work involved after a decision is made. The follow through step. What was Esther to do? How could she follow through without Paul? They always did things together, and she was afraid to decide on anything or even take a stand on anything without him. Esther had to do something. She had to make herself a strong woman; she had to value herself, grow her self-esteem, didn’t she? How was she to do that? Where would she start? There was only one way she could start; only one way for her.

I have to say; I love this story because it’s about how many of us manage our lives, including me. Esther’s life is planned, but she doesn’t see it. She postpones her original decision and brings back her store after she’s moved to another city where her sister and husband live. This seems right at first, but then one problem after the other causes her to again, question her stage, her purpose. Did she make a mistake? Why can’t she find peace? She meets a twelve-year-old boy who wants to change his religion from Jewish to Christian whom she helps. By helping him she sees she must come off that island where she is alone and afraid. She, like us all, must find herself, the person she was born to be. She must see her value, her purpose, and her future. But is Esther capable of helping herself? Wouldn’t it be better if she could just play it safe and protect herself? Or why not just follow her original decision. Surely, that’s the best one. Surely, that’s what she should have done.

Love A Good Story

Posted on by judycar

Love a Good Story. I just Love a Good Story. Don’t you just Love a Good Story? Well, here is another Good Story.

            This month on June 16, we celebrate Father’s Day. I’m happy we celebrate our fathers. They deserve it. We need our fathers. They do so much more in the family than we know and/or give them credit for.

Both parents contributed evenly to who I am today, and I am thankful and proud of that. Even though society thinks mothers are extremely important to a child’s development and upbringing, the father is just as important, especially in today’s time where the mother is away from the home as much as the father. But fathers contribute hugely to their children’s development and enable growth in ways we don’t think of or see. Men show, mothers say or tell.

When I was very young, I didn’t think about what my father was teaching me. I just loved him so much. Every day, I would sit in the window waiting for him to come home from work. When I saw him coming through the front gate, I ran to the door, jumping and squealing because my father was home. I did this until I was in the third grade. But as a third grader, I didn’t jump and squeal. I was glad to see him. Later, we moved to a new house, and the arrangement changed, but I greeted my father until I reached high school.

My father showed me and my siblings how to solve problems by the way he handled his problems and the help he gave to us. Whenever I had a problem and asked my father for help, he had a story to tell me. After the story, he would tell me the moral of the story and find out if I understood how to solve the problem. I told him what my next step would be. He also had a procedure for solving problems and when I was in high school, when he thought I would need it, he told me the procedure he used for solving problems. As an adult, I continue to use that method.

Fathers enable their children to have confidence, to be sure of ourselves. My father always encouraged me, told me I could do something I didn’t think I could do. My father showed me how to ride a bike after he bought me one for my birthday. He didn’t ask me if I wanted one; he bought the bike. He showed me how to handle the bike. Riding looks simple and easy, but there is so much to learn about riding a bike. It is not as easy as it looks. I loved to bike. As an adult, I was always on my bike. I was always confident in my ability to handle the bike, except I never wanted to change a flat tire, and because of that ability, I could get out of tight situations where many others either fell or had to get off their bike. Biking enabled me to see my ability and gave me the freedom to feel secure. I thank my dad for that.

My father also encouraged me to be knowledgeable, do well in school, be curious about things and find solutions. At report card time, I would bring my report card home to my mother, but I couldn’t take it back until my father had seen it. One time he didn’t like the grade I got in one class and went to the school to talk to the teacher. The grade was changed.

When I took on a project at home or at school, that was more than I expected and felt like giving up, my father would say, “Stay the course,” meaning bring what you began to a positive conclusion. Often it took me longer to complete, but I did what he asked of me. I completed the projects. I did it for him, at first. But my father showed me that completing the project made me a better person. I was now reliable.

My father showed me how to be an honest person by being honest and doing for others. He always said pay what you owe. But you don’t have to take on someone else’s debt. He encouraged me to always put myself in a positive position. Be truthful. The truth will not hurt me, but will make me a better person. He showed me, and all of us, love. He helped my mother with the dishes after meals, cooked for us, and helped clean the house. When I was sick, my father bought me ice cream and during dinner when I couldn’t eat with the family, he would come to my room and feed me chocolate ice cream, my favorite. He did that every time I had the flu, or cold. It was his medicine. Before I knew it, I felt so much better. Today, whenever I have the flu or cold, I get chocolate ice cream and think about my father. It was never medicine; it was his love for me.

My father asked me not to hate others for any reason. He encouraged me to help those around me who needed help. Be good to everyone. He was also a Christian man, thus, held Christian values. He also showed me how not to take advantage of women (which some women do to each other), and instead, lift them up. He showed me how, by the way he honored my mother.

He always said that until the country changes, it was still the man’s job to take care of his family. My father always provided for us. He protected us, gave us not only what we needed, but much of what we wanted. He had us evaluate what we wanted and showed us how not to waste money, time, or effort.

The world is changing now, and thankfully fathers see their children need them. From my view, fathers are much more involved in the lives of their children. In many public places, I’ve seen fathers do a myriad of things such as carrying their children or pushing them in the stroller, attending school meetings and parent-teacher meetings, attending school activities such as plays, chorus, football, basketball, science fair, and other school activities. These things show the children that they are important. This builds the son or daughter’s self-esteem, enables the son or daughter to know their place in the family and helps them feel safe.

I realize that there are many children or adults without fathers. With some, the fathers were not as involved with their children. Others had fathers who are in the service or do a service such as a firefighter, police officer or work away from the home. It would be a nice idea to leave your father, who works odd hours and is away from the home, a Father’s Day card expressing your thanks and love for him. See what happens. Be sure to let me know how things turned out. I will wait to hear from you. Only do this if you don’t have a personal reason to keep your distance.

On June 16, 2024, honor your father. Like you did with your mother on Mother’s Day, show your father that you are thankful for him and that you love him and care about him.

I would love to hear from you about your father. Please write and tell me all about your experience.

The Attractiveness of Wisdom is a story about a father and his relationship with his three children. Purchase the novel. Let me know how you enjoyed it and what you think of the father, Hamilton, in the story. I have to say I love him, and I really love his son, Jeremy, who is attached to his father and who also helps his father become a better person.

Isn’t that a Good Story? I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Please send me your comments by responding to this blog. Until next time, Love a Good Story. Purchase The Attractiveness of Wisdom. I know you will love it as well.

https://www.amazon.com/kindle-dbs/entity/author/B00I3KVGFM?

The Attractiveness of Wisdom, Winner, The Independent Press Award, 2022, and The NY Big Book Award, 2022. www.www.blackrosewriting.com.

http://www.blackrosewriting.com and https://www.amazon.com/kindle-dbs/entity/author/B00I3KVGFM?

Blessings and Curses, Finalist in the Readers Favorite Award, 2020, also awarded Top Ten Most Popular Books in the Frankfurt, Sharjah, and Guadalajara International Book Fairs, 2018.

Love A Good Story

Posted on by judycar

Love a Good Story. I just Love a Good Story. Don’t you just Love a Good Story? Here’s another Good Story.

            First, I’d like you to know that I am back. Over the past year and a half, I have had my share, and the share of several others, it seemed like, of challenges with my home, my car and my health, all at the same time. I declare myself to be finished with all of that so I can get back to you. I missed writing to you and receiving your comments to me as well. So, with all that behind me, let’s focus on Love a Good Story.

            I get a Word of the Day that I sometimes use. So why not send you a word for the month. You may be able to use the word as well. The word for this month is:

Circuitous [ser-KYOO-i-tuhs]   1. Having a circular or winding course; not direct

Examples of its use:

  1. The mountain trail took a circuitous route, winding through dense forests and crossing streams.
  2. The circuitous explanation confused the audience, who expected a more straightforward answer.

Here’s another good story:

            Last summer, two foxes found their way into my backyard. We don’t have alleys where I live and I am in the middle of the street, which means that the foxes and deer have to come from other yards before jumping the fence and entering my yard. Once they get to my yard, it was easy for them to find their way back when they left. I guess that’s why they kept returning. When I would see these two foxes in my yard, I would take a broom and swing it around, yelling for them to leave, as I bravely approached them. They, frightened by my maniacal behavior, would try to jump the fence and get away. Yelling and swinging the broom, I gave them the extra time they needed to jump the fence. One, after about three of four tries, would get over and the other would keep trying until he or she made it over the fence and into my neighbor’s yard. One day I watched one hide in my Hosta plants that had grown and spread out. About an hour later, he or she came out of the bushes, yawning. That reminded me to be more cautious when I had to weed.

Fall came, and they left. It was a surprise. I thought they would stick around. I looked for them daily, but they didn’t return in the fall or winter. Then, spring came, and the two foxes returned. I think deep down I missed my friends, and I finally realized I wasn’t yelling at them to leave. Instead, I worried about them. Where did they go in the winter? Whatever they did, they made it back to my yard..

 Early one summer morning, I opened the door to my back deck and heard this scurrying noise. The two foxes were on my deck, sleeping. When they heard me opening the door, they ran down the steps to the back of the yard to jump the fence. That’s when I noticed the fence was a little too high for them to jump over. They saw me coming toward them and in a panic, the first one kept trying to jump over until he/she did. Then the other tried and tried and tried and finally made it over. My neighbor’s backyard is not fenced, so they found their way out.

Since they were on my deck, which is much too close to the inside of my house, I decided to check my deck as soon as I got up every day. Early in the morning, I found them not only on my deck, but sleeping together in a cushioned chair. One was curled inside the other. They were so cute; I wanted to take a picture of them. But I stood there inside, watching from my window. They seemed comfortable. They weren’t hiding. They were out in the open in a chair on my deck, sleeping. They just wanted to be safe; to sleep and feel safe doing so. Isn’t that what we humans want, too? We want to feel safe, especially with what’s happening today in our city and around the world. The foxes heard me walking around in my house, so they got up out of the chair and ran down the steps to the back of the yard to jump the fence. This day, as they tried to jump over the fence, they watched me. The first one stopped for a minute, watching to see what I would do. I shifted my weight, and the fox tried again and made it over. The second fox continued to look at me, then tried to jump over the fence. I encouraged him or her to try again. He or she did and finally made it over the fence. Instead of running away, they both stopped to look at me for a while. I asked them to stay together and look out for each other. It was at that moment that I understood the foxes.

Foxes are small animals. They are the size of small dogs. In fact, bigger dogs are much bigger that a fox. A fox is always on the alert. They have to be ready. They are the prey. The two foxes who slept on my deck, in my chair, were just looking for peace; a place where they could sleep without being chased away, without another animal trying to take their life. They must be tired of running, tired of hiding, and tired of trying to find some place safe. They were just looking for a place to relax, a place where they could be calm and free of worry about staying alive. They have no other fox or person to help them. They must depend on themselves.

Foxes are not the only ones who worry about things. Where do you go to feel safe? What do you do when you are worried about something? Do you have someone to turn to? How do you manage your worries? I know what I do, but please let me hear from you. What do you do?

Please let me hear from you. Also, if you’ve used “circuitous” in your story or in a writing, please send that as well. I look forward to hearing from you.

Please contact me at:  judykelly@judycar.com or respond to the bottom of this page.