Love a Good Story

Posted on by judycar

Love a Good Story. I just Love a Good Story. Don’t you just Love a Good Story? Well, here is another Good Story.

          How have you done so far? Have you been faithful to your resolutions? I’ve given you enough time, an entire month, to get back on track if you got off or if you are beginning your promise you made to yourself. Guess what? Our New Year has begun. Yes, 2025 is here whether we were ready. Over the past several days into this new year, I’ve thought about what we say to each other to greet the new year. The expression is: “Happy New Year,” or “Have a Happy New Year.” What does this really mean? When we say, “Happy New Year,” are we asking the new year to make us happy?

As far as I know, there is only one way we can have a happy new year. But, it is something we must do. It’s easy. It’s not asking to do something that is difficult to carry out, but it is something that will bring you joy and happiness. I’m not talking about the strain of losing weight on the same or different diet or going to the gym or any of those things where our heart is not there.

We can have a happy new year by being ready to help each other, doing good deeds (sometimes simple) for those around us and those in great need. We can say nice things to each other, compliment each other for what we do and say to each other. We can remember birthdays, anniversaries and other occasions that we know our friends and loved ones cherish. We can visit those in hospitals, remember friends we’ve disconnected with without reason. We can stop being so busy with things in our lives and be present for those in need, those we know and those we knew. I truly believe if we can take time for others, we will have a Happy New Year. We won’t have to wish it. It will be.

Olivia, in my novel Blessings and Curses, helps a man on death row. See what happens. Sometimes helping others can bring a new life or something unexpected. You can get it on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Blackrosewriting.com

So, everyone, A Very Happy New Year

Isn’t that a good story?

That’s all for now. See you next month.

Don’t forget to let me know what happens to you as you do and say wonderful and loving things to your loved ones, friends, and strangers.

Love A Good Story

Posted on by judycar

Love a Good Story. I Love a Good Story. Don’t you just Love a Good Story? Well, here is another good story.

          The other day, I received a phone call from someone who asked me to support Trump. While she went through her spiel about why I would want to support him, I realized she didn’t speak about the one major reason Christians would support him. I bet you can guess that, and if you thought of the abortion issue, you are correct. After the call, I sat down to think about abortion, to see both sides.

          Abortion is not an issue for me. Abortion is also not an issue for a single man. His stand should not matter, and he should not support a law that upholds one side. This is a female issue, and a female should have the power and say-so. To begin, a woman, married or not, finds herself in a decision-making position. If the woman is married, then she may decide to please her husband. If the woman is not married, or single, and because she believes she is protected, she decides to engage with her male friend. In both cases, the woman decides. That’s the important part.

          In today’s world, more and more women are working, attending college, finding a job they want, moving up the ladder toward success, or working on another degree so that they can climb the ladder of success. They establish goals and objectives and want more for themselves than the job of a stay-at-home-mom. They don’t want to be the only adult responsible for the children that she and her husband created together in love. These women have a future, and they want to participate as professionals. They want more and are not ready for a family with children before they have accomplished something. Society recognizes women and women’s abilities to hold top positions and even own their own businesses. But a woman’s travel to the top entails a much longer journey, as she must always prove herself, and she encounters many more obstacles that make her journey a longer one. Nevertheless, this is what some women want. This makes some women happy; that they can accomplish something. This makes women feel whole. Reaching the top not only makes women happy, reaching the top also gives women life or fulfillment and offers them the liberty they need to make their own choices.

          Men don’t have these problems. Their conditions are different. Unfortunately, men can’t get pregnant. Men are not expected to raise children, especially if the pregnancy is unexpected. That job belongs to the woman. Men also climb the ladder of success, but their climb is much faster than a woman’s climb. But that’s another topic.

          Because men don’t experience what women experience, nor in the same way they do, it is difficult for a man to voice an opinion about abortion. After all, he will never have to experience having an abortion, unfortunately. However, a husband should support his wife’s decision, and after carefully reviewing their individual goals, the husband and wife may decide together. Aside from this, no one other than the woman who made the initial decision should decide what to do in the event she needs an abortion. Her reasons are her own personal reasons and should not be dragged through the news or courts. Thus, abortion is an individual decision made by the woman, or only when the man is consulted as part of a family decision. Access to abortion should be granted for women who need to have an abortion.

There are two issues. First, is the reason that is omitted. The Bible says that a man and woman must procreate. They must start a family, and that family must continue the line, the next generation must continue the line, and on and on. The Bible presents long lists of families and who came after who. The Bible identifies the men and sometimes women who continued their line. Today, we must see it the same as much as possible and in doing so, we must see that decisions about one’s body, or whether to procreate, are decisions that only individual people or families have the right to make. It is ridiculous to take an abortion to court.

          Christians who voted for Trump because he does not support abortion rights, obviously haven’t listened to the confusion he caused in what he thinks of as a “speech.” First, Trump did not run because of abortion rights. He ran for other personal reasons. These reasons will not be discussed.

Christians have no Biblical or Christian right to tell someone else, Christian or not, what they should do about their lives. As Christians, we are not to judge others. We have no right to do that. Jesus has asked us not to judge. We are to leave that to Him. When we decide about abortion rights, we are also deciding about someone else, thereby casting judgement on that person. Take a minute to think about what you say to yourself about someone who wants an abortion. Do you think: “She shouldn’t have;” or “What was she thinking;” or anything like that? Can you see you are casting judgement? Only the woman who needs an abortion can make that decision.

When we make sweeping judgements such as the abortion issue, we make these judgements without knowledge of the lives of those needing an abortion, their circumstances, lifestyle, physical condition, and health of the woman and of the fetus, of a woman’s mental health, living conditions, even their age. It is difficult to judge what another person’s life is like. Not to mention the fact that taking a stand against abortion (making a judgement about another) is a sin. As Christians, we are called to love one another and take care of each other. You can’t care for a person when you impose your thinking on them. Even if they are wrong, your sin does not make it right. We are not called to judge. We only have one Judge. That is His responsibility and His alone. We are not to decide for God. That is a sin, also. When we decide for God, we can misrepresent Him by adding ourselves. Misrepresenting God is a huge sin. When you add up everything, whose sins are greater? Yours? Or a woman who wants an abortion? So, Christians do not judge or tell others what they should or should not do. The word “should” implies that it is your opinion, and unsupported with facts. Instead, Christians are asked to follow the examples Jesus provided for us when he walked this earth.

If a woman and her husband, or a single woman and her friend, or a single woman makes a wrong decision, then that is her sin. They are responsible for the sin they commit. Others are not.

          Let’s look at this issue another way. The Constitution of the United States says: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed —That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to affect their Safety and Happiness.”

I know you have read this many times in your history classes that you took both in high school and college, or have read it and reread it on your own. So, I will not review the meaning of the entire passage. Instead, let’s begin with “inalienable rights.” What does “inalienable” mean? What is an “Inalienable right?” According to the Longman Advanced American Dictionary, inalienable means “a right that cannot be taken away from you.” According to the Synonym Finder, synonyms for inalienable are: “forfeitable, untransferable, not to be conveyed, consignable, unsalable, unnegotiable, positive, absolute, inherent, unchallengeable, and in the Law, indefeasible, not to be annulled, not to be made void, permanent.”

If inalienable is something, or a right, that belongs to me and me only and I cannot give that specific right away or have that right taken from me, then an inalienable right is a right that belongs to me and me only and I cannot have that right taken away from me.

          The Constitution says, “Inalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.” The words “among these” imply that we have other rights, and among all those other rights we have are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Keep in mind as we go along that these rights cannot be given away or taken away from us.

          Next, we need to define life. What is life to you? If you were to ask a homeless person what life is, would they say “Oh, homelessness is the way to go.” Do you think a homeless person has life? What about someone in prison of any kind? Is that life? If someone restricts you from something you want or need and keeps you there, is that life? If a person is bedridden, is that life? If a person spends their days inside for whatever reason, is that life? Does life have to do with quality? If that’s so, then couldn’t life be the use and experience of your talents and gifts? Isn’t that why we are given life; to use are gifts and talents to grow ourselves and help others grow? Stop and think about the work you and others do. Is there a job where a person does NOT offer something that some facet of the public can use? A homeless person does not get to grow because he has no life. Society has stopped that for him. A prisoner gets a slight chance for limited growth and may help others, but neither can really use their talents or gifts. What is growing? Isn’t growing the same as developing and expanding our talents? Someone may be good with computers. That person will learn about computers by taking classes, by using the computer and by showing others. Then, after mastering those skills, the person may take more advanced classes and master more skills. Would a woman who has an unwanted pregnancy be able to grow? Would she be able to use her talents and gifts?

          The next inalienable right (a right that cannot be given away or taken away from us) is liberty. Liberty means freedom. Not only are we given life, the ability to grow ourselves, as a right, but we also have liberty or freedom as an inalienable right as well. We are free to run our lives the way we see fit and we are free to grow ourselves in the manner we would like. Look at one more thing. These are individual rights. They are not group rights. A group has no say so over your individual rights. You get to run your own life. You are not bound by a group who gives you these rights and tells you how and when to use them. Remember inalienable. Therefore, it is difficult for me to understand why so many people feel they have the “right” to tell you what to do with YOUR inalienable rights. Even a judge thinks he has the right to override the Constitution and put his opinion into law. This is an abuse of power. Getting back on track, Liberty, the freedom to use our talents and gifts in the way we like. Again, this freedom is granted to us individually, and not granted by others, but by the Constitution of the United States.

          Then we come to pursuit of happiness. The following is what Brent Strawn, editor of The Bible and the Pursuit of Happiness: What the Old and New Testament Teach us about the Good Life, published in 2012, has to say about happiness.

“Arthur Schlesinger should be credited with pointing out in a nice little essay in 1964 that at the time of the Declaration’s composition, “the pursuit of happiness” did not mean chasing or seeking it, but practicing happiness, the experience of happiness — not just chasing it but actually catching it, you might say. Seeking happiness is one thing, but actually obtaining it and experiencing it — practicing happiness! — is an entirely different matter. It’s the difference between dreaming and reality. Remember that the pursuit of happiness, in the Declaration, is not a quest or a pastime, but “an unalienable right.” Everyone has the right to actually be happy, not just try to be happy. To use a metaphor: You don’t just get the chance to make the baseball team, you are guaranteed a spot. That’s a very different understanding. So, now, in 2018, I continue to think that the thickest and best definition of “the pursuit of happiness” means we must think about facilitating the achievement of others’ happiness, and not be inordinately or exclusively self-obsessed with our own.

          Happiness, then, is something we are and that we not only think about ourselves as being happy, but we must enable others to be happy, as well.”

          Isn’t that a comprehensive way of thinking about the pursuit of happiness? If we reason this out using critical thinking skills, then we must find that we have the freedom to make decisions for ourselves that bring us a fulfilling life where we can use our talents and skills that fill us with happiness. Each woman and the woman only, has the right to decide what she will do with her body. She is given the freedom to make those decisions. If we do anything as a group, we must see to the happiness of others, not ourselves. It may be difficult for some of the “I,” “All about me” people to see that. But this is the right thing to do. Let those people who are involved make their own decision. You don’t want to take a “right,” such as the freedom to make their own choice, away from your daughter, granddaughter, niece, sister, best friend, her daughters, and on and on. We are given these inalienable rights, and no one is given a right to take these inalienable rights away from anyone. Should a woman and her husband or woman and her boyfriend make a decision that is not in their best interest, then they will have to pay for that decision, and others will not have to pay for judging.

Thank you for reading this again. Please let me read what you have to say, whether you agree or disagree. It’s always nice to hear another side. You can respond to this blog or use the contact form to write to me. If you are looking for something to read, please consider The Attractiveness of Wisdom and Blessings and Curses. Both novels are Good Stories you will Love.

Love A Good Story

Posted on by judycar

Love a Good Story. I just Love a Good Story. Don’t you just Love a Good Story? Well, here is another Good Story.

            This month on June 16, we celebrate Father’s Day. I’m happy we celebrate our fathers. They deserve it. We need our fathers. They do so much more in the family than we know and/or give them credit for.

Both parents contributed evenly to who I am today, and I am thankful and proud of that. Even though society thinks mothers are extremely important to a child’s development and upbringing, the father is just as important, especially in today’s time where the mother is away from the home as much as the father. But fathers contribute hugely to their children’s development and enable growth in ways we don’t think of or see. Men show, mothers say or tell.

When I was very young, I didn’t think about what my father was teaching me. I just loved him so much. Every day, I would sit in the window waiting for him to come home from work. When I saw him coming through the front gate, I ran to the door, jumping and squealing because my father was home. I did this until I was in the third grade. But as a third grader, I didn’t jump and squeal. I was glad to see him. Later, we moved to a new house, and the arrangement changed, but I greeted my father until I reached high school.

My father showed me and my siblings how to solve problems by the way he handled his problems and the help he gave to us. Whenever I had a problem and asked my father for help, he had a story to tell me. After the story, he would tell me the moral of the story and find out if I understood how to solve the problem. I told him what my next step would be. He also had a procedure for solving problems and when I was in high school, when he thought I would need it, he told me the procedure he used for solving problems. As an adult, I continue to use that method.

Fathers enable their children to have confidence, to be sure of ourselves. My father always encouraged me, told me I could do something I didn’t think I could do. My father showed me how to ride a bike after he bought me one for my birthday. He didn’t ask me if I wanted one; he bought the bike. He showed me how to handle the bike. Riding looks simple and easy, but there is so much to learn about riding a bike. It is not as easy as it looks. I loved to bike. As an adult, I was always on my bike. I was always confident in my ability to handle the bike, except I never wanted to change a flat tire, and because of that ability, I could get out of tight situations where many others either fell or had to get off their bike. Biking enabled me to see my ability and gave me the freedom to feel secure. I thank my dad for that.

My father also encouraged me to be knowledgeable, do well in school, be curious about things and find solutions. At report card time, I would bring my report card home to my mother, but I couldn’t take it back until my father had seen it. One time he didn’t like the grade I got in one class and went to the school to talk to the teacher. The grade was changed.

When I took on a project at home or at school, that was more than I expected and felt like giving up, my father would say, “Stay the course,” meaning bring what you began to a positive conclusion. Often it took me longer to complete, but I did what he asked of me. I completed the projects. I did it for him, at first. But my father showed me that completing the project made me a better person. I was now reliable.

My father showed me how to be an honest person by being honest and doing for others. He always said pay what you owe. But you don’t have to take on someone else’s debt. He encouraged me to always put myself in a positive position. Be truthful. The truth will not hurt me, but will make me a better person. He showed me, and all of us, love. He helped my mother with the dishes after meals, cooked for us, and helped clean the house. When I was sick, my father bought me ice cream and during dinner when I couldn’t eat with the family, he would come to my room and feed me chocolate ice cream, my favorite. He did that every time I had the flu, or cold. It was his medicine. Before I knew it, I felt so much better. Today, whenever I have the flu or cold, I get chocolate ice cream and think about my father. It was never medicine; it was his love for me.

My father asked me not to hate others for any reason. He encouraged me to help those around me who needed help. Be good to everyone. He was also a Christian man, thus, held Christian values. He also showed me how not to take advantage of women (which some women do to each other), and instead, lift them up. He showed me how, by the way he honored my mother.

He always said that until the country changes, it was still the man’s job to take care of his family. My father always provided for us. He protected us, gave us not only what we needed, but much of what we wanted. He had us evaluate what we wanted and showed us how not to waste money, time, or effort.

The world is changing now, and thankfully fathers see their children need them. From my view, fathers are much more involved in the lives of their children. In many public places, I’ve seen fathers do a myriad of things such as carrying their children or pushing them in the stroller, attending school meetings and parent-teacher meetings, attending school activities such as plays, chorus, football, basketball, science fair, and other school activities. These things show the children that they are important. This builds the son or daughter’s self-esteem, enables the son or daughter to know their place in the family and helps them feel safe.

I realize that there are many children or adults without fathers. With some, the fathers were not as involved with their children. Others had fathers who are in the service or do a service such as a firefighter, police officer or work away from the home. It would be a nice idea to leave your father, who works odd hours and is away from the home, a Father’s Day card expressing your thanks and love for him. See what happens. Be sure to let me know how things turned out. I will wait to hear from you. Only do this if you don’t have a personal reason to keep your distance.

On June 16, 2024, honor your father. Like you did with your mother on Mother’s Day, show your father that you are thankful for him and that you love him and care about him.

I would love to hear from you about your father. Please write and tell me all about your experience.

The Attractiveness of Wisdom is a story about a father and his relationship with his three children. Purchase the novel. Let me know how you enjoyed it and what you think of the father, Hamilton, in the story. I have to say I love him, and I really love his son, Jeremy, who is attached to his father and who also helps his father become a better person.

Isn’t that a Good Story? I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Please send me your comments by responding to this blog. Until next time, Love a Good Story. Purchase The Attractiveness of Wisdom. I know you will love it as well.

https://www.amazon.com/kindle-dbs/entity/author/B00I3KVGFM?

The Attractiveness of Wisdom, Winner, The Independent Press Award, 2022, and The NY Big Book Award, 2022. www.www.blackrosewriting.com.

http://www.blackrosewriting.com and https://www.amazon.com/kindle-dbs/entity/author/B00I3KVGFM?

Blessings and Curses, Finalist in the Readers Favorite Award, 2020, also awarded Top Ten Most Popular Books in the Frankfurt, Sharjah, and Guadalajara International Book Fairs, 2018.

Love A Good Story

Posted on by judycar

Love a Good Story. I just Love a Good Story. Don’t you just Love a Good Story? Here’s another Good Story.

            First, I’d like you to know that I am back. Over the past year and a half, I have had my share, and the share of several others, it seemed like, of challenges with my home, my car and my health, all at the same time. I declare myself to be finished with all of that so I can get back to you. I missed writing to you and receiving your comments to me as well. So, with all that behind me, let’s focus on Love a Good Story.

            I get a Word of the Day that I sometimes use. So why not send you a word for the month. You may be able to use the word as well. The word for this month is:

Circuitous [ser-KYOO-i-tuhs]   1. Having a circular or winding course; not direct

Examples of its use:

  1. The mountain trail took a circuitous route, winding through dense forests and crossing streams.
  2. The circuitous explanation confused the audience, who expected a more straightforward answer.

Here’s another good story:

            Last summer, two foxes found their way into my backyard. We don’t have alleys where I live and I am in the middle of the street, which means that the foxes and deer have to come from other yards before jumping the fence and entering my yard. Once they get to my yard, it was easy for them to find their way back when they left. I guess that’s why they kept returning. When I would see these two foxes in my yard, I would take a broom and swing it around, yelling for them to leave, as I bravely approached them. They, frightened by my maniacal behavior, would try to jump the fence and get away. Yelling and swinging the broom, I gave them the extra time they needed to jump the fence. One, after about three of four tries, would get over and the other would keep trying until he or she made it over the fence and into my neighbor’s yard. One day I watched one hide in my Hosta plants that had grown and spread out. About an hour later, he or she came out of the bushes, yawning. That reminded me to be more cautious when I had to weed.

Fall came, and they left. It was a surprise. I thought they would stick around. I looked for them daily, but they didn’t return in the fall or winter. Then, spring came, and the two foxes returned. I think deep down I missed my friends, and I finally realized I wasn’t yelling at them to leave. Instead, I worried about them. Where did they go in the winter? Whatever they did, they made it back to my yard..

 Early one summer morning, I opened the door to my back deck and heard this scurrying noise. The two foxes were on my deck, sleeping. When they heard me opening the door, they ran down the steps to the back of the yard to jump the fence. That’s when I noticed the fence was a little too high for them to jump over. They saw me coming toward them and in a panic, the first one kept trying to jump over until he/she did. Then the other tried and tried and tried and finally made it over. My neighbor’s backyard is not fenced, so they found their way out.

Since they were on my deck, which is much too close to the inside of my house, I decided to check my deck as soon as I got up every day. Early in the morning, I found them not only on my deck, but sleeping together in a cushioned chair. One was curled inside the other. They were so cute; I wanted to take a picture of them. But I stood there inside, watching from my window. They seemed comfortable. They weren’t hiding. They were out in the open in a chair on my deck, sleeping. They just wanted to be safe; to sleep and feel safe doing so. Isn’t that what we humans want, too? We want to feel safe, especially with what’s happening today in our city and around the world. The foxes heard me walking around in my house, so they got up out of the chair and ran down the steps to the back of the yard to jump the fence. This day, as they tried to jump over the fence, they watched me. The first one stopped for a minute, watching to see what I would do. I shifted my weight, and the fox tried again and made it over. The second fox continued to look at me, then tried to jump over the fence. I encouraged him or her to try again. He or she did and finally made it over the fence. Instead of running away, they both stopped to look at me for a while. I asked them to stay together and look out for each other. It was at that moment that I understood the foxes.

Foxes are small animals. They are the size of small dogs. In fact, bigger dogs are much bigger that a fox. A fox is always on the alert. They have to be ready. They are the prey. The two foxes who slept on my deck, in my chair, were just looking for peace; a place where they could sleep without being chased away, without another animal trying to take their life. They must be tired of running, tired of hiding, and tired of trying to find some place safe. They were just looking for a place to relax, a place where they could be calm and free of worry about staying alive. They have no other fox or person to help them. They must depend on themselves.

Foxes are not the only ones who worry about things. Where do you go to feel safe? What do you do when you are worried about something? Do you have someone to turn to? How do you manage your worries? I know what I do, but please let me hear from you. What do you do?

Please let me hear from you. Also, if you’ve used “circuitous” in your story or in a writing, please send that as well. I look forward to hearing from you.

Please contact me at:  judykelly@judycar.com or respond to the bottom of this page.